That I am SO thankful that the Lord provided a job for me right in the nick of time. It's going well. Sorry I haven't written much lately. Now that I am working I get kinda tired and not really interested in blogging. But I thought now would be a good time to write one because I feel somewhat emotional. I think it's funny that blogging sometimes turns into a "safe release" of feelings and words that you feel but wouldn't normally express casually. So here is my release...
Tonight I have felt guilty and ashamed. These past few days I have fallen out of the spirit and into my flesh. I am guilty of feeling sad and anxious, stressed and emotionally cracked and cracking, lonely and tired. I feel so ashamed when I allow myself to let these fleshly things come over me. I am sad also because I don't want to disappoint the one person who I least want to disappoint, Vin my one true love. He has been extra loving towards me lately, it's as though the Lord knew and has put that on his heart. He sent me flowers at work and I once again felt the butterflies you first feel when your love is brand new! My heart was pounding all day at the thought of him! It was so great! He takes me to lunch, wakes up early and brings me coffee, makes me lunch if I decide to go home, and today he cleaned his apartment spotless. Praise God for this man who serves me beyond my deservingness. I have the most wonderful man after Gods own heart. It's been hard because I was with him pretty much every minute of every day and now our time spent is limited. I feel the deprivation! My heart longs for him when I am apart from him. I guess I just miss him so much it hurts :-(
*Thank you my gracious loving God for the time you gifted Vin and me to spend together for those months we had with no distraction. Thank you for designing our course and bringing our hearts together. Thank you for all you have done! Your love is amazing, I love you my God!I can only allow you to give me the strength I need each day let me surrender to You!*
Off to bed and missing my love,
kesh~
1 comment:
WOW! That is such an encouraging post for me! It is so awesome to see how the Lord is working in you! I know that you feel spiritually stressed out lately, but I think that it is only because you are going places you have never been before! God is so wonderful and I am in awe just watching Him work in you!!! I love you sweetie and I thank God for you everyday! You are worth serving!
XOXO
Vin
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