I had been thinking earlier and something sort of brought my attention back to it. It’s the simplicity in life that I have been finding in a lot of things. Not saying I take advantage of those wonderful simple things as I should, it’s that I truly desire them and fail to take advantage of them. Our hearts are quite the treasure box. I realize when I find myself wanting what someone else has, or wishing things were different God whispers in my ear to look inside my heart because he has put something there that he wants me to see. So I do and each time I find Gods love just hanging out. It’s great.
I found joy today while driving down the street. I stopped at a stop sign and saw a family in an SUV that seemed so happy. I saw people buying Christmas trees tying them to their cars, a couple inside a car lot probably buying a new car. I saw sunshine and busyness, happiness and most of all I saw everyone around me living life and it made me feel good.
My heart was shocked by something from the past yesterday. I am curious to know if certain wounds ever heal. I know God can heal them but you have to give them to him first, and I don’t know how to completely surrender it to him. Maybe in time. It seems as though enough has passed. I wonder if we all suffer through something like desperation in our lives because I am pretty sure I have been in the depths of despair and them some, but moment by moment God kept my spirit alive with his love and mercy. Looking back I am beginning to see a glimpse of what state my heart was in, and it seemed a little like this…
“What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.
I have no rest, but only turmoil” Job 3:28
Even though my body was not wounded my heart was dead and my joy was gone, and that was as good as being dead. It has taken a long time to see light from the dark I was in. I had a tear stained pillow that I lay my head on each night. I worried my family with my loss of joy and interest in anything other than sleeping. I’d sleep and sleep because I didn’t know my heart was broken when my mind was dreaming of other things. The seasons I loved passed by without me. It changed who I am. But I will not fail to mention that Gods Glory came upon me and I can see my life as a gift again. I know I grew stronger from an experience like that, and I am still growing stronger each day.
Well I probably shouldn’t have reflected so deeply on the past. I don’t feel that I live in the past, but I do need to reflect from time to time so I can see where God has brought me. I am blessed and my goal to be content seems closer. Well I am off to work now. God Bless. I don’t know if anyone reads my entries I think they only look at my pictures. Oh well whatever floats your boats.
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1 comment:
How and what you come away from the past is what helps define who you become. You can come away bitter, or you can come away with knowledge and use that knowledge to be a better person. I am amazed at how easily you can quote the Bible in here. It is good though. And on a lighter note, hears a typo for anonymous.
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